If you only want to...

Our adoption story began in 2006 when my wife, Jeannie, and I attended an informational meeting given by America World Adoption Agency. When we had a break for coffee, Jeannie asked “What do you think?”

My reply, “How can we not do this?”

And with that, we were off. It didn’t matter that we didn’t have the money or support. I didn’t know where our “babies” were, how old they were, their names, or even if they were boys or girls. All I could say for sure was God had placed some children into our hearts. I never knew I could love someone I had never met, but there it was, a burning love for children I did not even know. And just as I would for any of my children, I wanted with every fiber of my being to find them, rescue them, and bring them home to safety, to be their hero.

At that time we had four children. The twin boys, Jake and Dan, were going on 18. Josh, our middle son, was 15. Grace, the baby, was 13.  Jeannie and I were coming up on our 19th wedding anniversary. We had been chasing around the world with the Navy and had finally settled in a little town just north of Memphis.

I don’t remember how we got connected to America World, but there we were. Three and a half years after our discussion, in August of 2009, Jeannie and I flew to Pavlodar, Kazakhstan to find the rest of our family. We met Alyohsa and Zhenya in a state run orphanage tucked away in the village of Kichiry. Alyosha was 8 and had grown up in the orphanage. His little sister Zhenya had just come to Kichiry 6 months earlier at the age of 5. The little boy and girl were the children God had burned into our hearts with a blowtorch back in 2006.

On October 10th, 2009, we brought Alyosha and Zhenya home, it was beautiful, wonderful, awesome. It was as though I was able to glimpse the dim reflection of God’s rescue and adoption of me. He had pursued me, found me where I was, paid an enormous price to ransom me, rescued me, and took me home as one of His sons.

It was also incredibly heartbreaking. We left behind 78 other children in the Kichiri Orphanage. These handsome young boys and beautiful girls had captured our hearts, and when we left them there, a piece of our broken hearts stayed behind with them. For me, I cry when I think about these children. I cry when I think about the girls without a father to protect them or give them away at their wedding. I cry for the boys who have no one to show them how to be a man, to teach them how to fish, to stand up for what is right, how to be a hero. Most importantly, they wont have anyone to show them what the Father’s unconditional love looks like, to teach them forgiveness, justice, and mercy.

Although I do not know what the statistics are for Kazakhstan, I think it is safe to say they would be similar to those of Russia or Ukraine. When an orphan ages out at 17 or 18, the girls will most likely go into prostitution, the boys will go into drug trafficking. The survival rate is low and the suicide rate is high. They will be sold to the highest bidder. When these vulnerable children walk into the world for the first time, there will most likely be someone there to offer them a place to stay, since they have no where else to go. That place will be one of pain and sorrow, and most likely death.

When I look at the photos of my children’s classmates, I can’t help but think about their future. I wonder who will stand in the gap for them, who will protect them, who will provide them refuge. Who will stand for justice and defend their innocence? Who will be willing to live James 1:27 in whole, not just part? Who will be their hero?

At this point I wish I could give an easy three point lesson on why men do not actively engage in orphan care, I cannot.   Come on! We are men, and Christian men to boot. We can find a way to do anything we really want to do. We can convince ourselves we need Rogain, an iPad, that Flying-V guitar at the music store, or a new car. We can find a way to watch any sporting event known to man, if we want to. It sounds ridiculous, but I have to say it, what is keeping you from “wanting” to defend the cause of the fatherless? What keeps you from standing between the innocent girls and the predators who will exploit them? What keeps you from showing a boy how to be a man? What is keeping you from being the hero God has destined you to be? I would bet that whatever it is, you can find a way around it, if you only want to.

I originally wrote this for @AnOrdinaryDad Lee Bodenmiller's web site Dads for Orphans. Lee is doing something amazing there in rallying men to step up to the plate and become more than spectators in serving the orphan. Please check it out, subscribe, follow him on twitter (@AnOrdinayDad), like him on Facebook, and help him out any way you can. 

All my friends have big buts...

All my friends have big buts:

I know God can, but...
I want to go, but...
I should do more, but....
We would adopt, but....
I shouldn't be anxious, but...

These are samples from recent conversations. Some are my words, some belong to others. There is a paradox of being a Believer but lacking belief. We are called to be faithful yet lack faith. We are called to follow but afraid to make the first step. We believe, but not in the provision and ability of the One in whom we believe.

There is hope, it comes with the words "but God..."

Psalms 49:15
But God will redeem my soul from the power of Sheol, For He will receive me. Selah.

Psalms 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalms 75:6-7
For not from the east, nor from the west, Nor from the desert comes exaltation; But God is the Judge; He puts down one and exalts another.

Mark 2:7b
“who can forgive sins but God alone?”

Acts 2:24
But God raised Him up again, putting an end to the agony of death, since it was impossible for Him to be held in its power.

Romans 5:8-9
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.

1 Corinthians 1:27
but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong,

2 Corinthians 7:6a
But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us...

Ephesians 2:4-10
But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ ( by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.

1 Thessalonians 2:4
but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts.

I guess our buts look pretty small when we look at it that way.

They say it's love....

     We have some wonderful friends in John and Rachael. She is a classic extrovert who rarely hesitates to share pretty much anything with us. He is a quiet guy with a quick wit. One Sunday following a meal we had the privilege of hearing about the early years of their marriage.

     John is a professional musician. He plays the tuba. He plays the tuba well enough to get paid to play it. I know a dozen people who claim to be able to play the guitar, only one is good enough to get paid to do it. In contrast I know one person who plays tuba, and he is a pro.
     When John and Rachael met, he was in his Senior year of college, she was a Freshman. He practiced his tuba six hours a day, every day. He told her before they got married that to love him, was to love his tuba.
     After they married he would take his tuba when they went on vacation. They would all go to the park so he could practice. Evidently, tuba playing is not acceptable in most hotels.
     She referred to the tuba as “his mistress” teasingly, but she admitted she was a bit jealous too. She would try to entice him to be late for practices and rehearsals to gain the upper hand over the giant brass “other woman”.
     John was certainly not a bad guy, but rather, he was committed to his art in a way musicians are prone to be (and some of us should be). He carried his tuba two miles to and from class every day. He had a raw talent, commitment, and level of skill that propelled him into a life as a professional musician. He was able to achieve that mountaintop that the rest of us non-talented, Rock Band playing, karaoke singing, pretenders dream of.
     She told us how one night, while they were lying in bed, he said, “Rachel, if something were to happen and I had to choose between you and the tuba, I would choose you.” She said it was sincere and loving, and one of the sweetest things he had ever said to her.
     They have been married long enough to have four beautiful children. They share a beautiful house together on their small farm where they raise chickens, mules, pigs, and a cow. They are thoughtful Believers who always have an encouraging word on their lips and joy in their hearts. And I believe they share a level of commitment to one another that is enviable. He knows she is committed to him by putting up with his tuba playing. She knows he is committed to her even more that he is committed to his music, and that is saying something.

It is hot in Texas...

            I spent August in Houston, Texas, and it was hot. It wasn’t “hot” like one would describe the inside of a fresh out of the oven biscuit. It was HOT as in what the biscuit feels like when it is in the oven. It was hot in the shade. It was hot in the pool. It was hot at the beach. It was so hot chickens were laying boiled eggs. OK, so the last one is an exaggeration, but the others are not.

            Now at this point someone would say “uh, Dave, you were in Texas in August, of course it was hot. It is always hot in Texas in August.” And that someone is right of course. It is hot because the Sun rises every morning and shines all across the long summer days. It sets each evening in the West, allowing a brief respite. But the next morning, the Sun once again rises in the East and burns its way across the sky, making it hot in Houston. If I go back to Houston next August it will be hot, and that is a wonderful thing.

            In Colossians 1:13 Paul says this about God “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sin.” (ESV)

            Paul then follows that up with this: “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities- all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together” (Col 1:15-17 ESV).

            The very same person “in whom we have redemption” is also the one in whom “all things hold together. The Sun rises and sets because He holds it together. It is hot in Texas every August because Jesus Christ holds it together. The surety of knowing the Sun will rise in the morning and set in the evening, and the day will be hot, is a wonderful reminder that a Believer’s redemption and forgiveness are also sure and secure. With that much evidence, why would we ever doubt?