So we met Howard and Donna at church, because where else would you meet people like Howard and Donna. It turned out they lived just down the street from us. We had just started going to a newly formed Life Group and invited them along. They jumped right in.
They shared the story of beautiful story of their life together and ended with this "We don't understand sometimes how or why God is doing what he does, but we see a beautiful tapestry of lives woven together."
At that time our family was in the middle of some of the hardest years of our post-adoption lives. Our hearts were empty, we had run out of grace to give to our kids who desperately needed more. We were barely keeping it together.
I don't know if Howard and Donna could sense this, if they knew how things were going.
Donna offered to tutor our kids. The teacher in her couldn't resist. She had a plan for our kids, she had a vision of what our kids could be, and most importantly she had a heart full of grace to share with all of us.
Where we doubted in our kids, she believed in them. When we doubted ourselves she believed us. When we were skeptical she was optimistic. When we were ready to give up, she persevered. It wasn't so much about the material she used, it was her heart full of grace and love. It made the difference for all of us.
I could make a big list of all of the changes we saw in our kids from their tutorage but that's not this story. This story is that she and Howard drowned our family in grace and love. We found our hearts refilled with hope, we believed again, we received and now could give grace. And we found friends to share coffee and tea and Halloween candy.
God's provision of Howard and Donna in our lives at that time was just what we needed. Not "just" as is "just enough", but overflowing, pressed down, pouring out excess, way beyond what was sufficient to the point of extravagance.
We will miss Donna and we will grieve with Howard and his kids. And we will look at the beautiful tapestry that is being woven by our lives and see the golden threads of Donna's life woven throughout.
On September 17th, 2018 I was stunned to find out Howard has passed away. And like a one-two punch I was devastated to find out he had killed himself. I don't understand, I don't think anyone will this side of Heaven. I really miss my friend.
This quote from one of Howard's classmates best describes him: "Howard was a person who noticed what so many others missed. he saw things and responded when others might not. He was a person who would cross any boundary or threshold to come, to sit with, and share with any person. In short, Howard was one who entered others' worlds and shared their lives, offering encouragement, friendship, and more."
So I want to share two thoughts. First, as you go through life try to be like Howard and Donna. Second, don't hesitate to reach out to those around you because you just never know.
