Hymn V

HYMN V.

THE hour of my departure's come;

I hear the voice that calls me home:

At last, O Lord! let trouble cease, 

And let thy servant die in peace.

The race appointed I have ran;
The combat's o'er, the prize is won;
And now my witness is on high

And now my record's in the sky

Not in mine innocence I trust;
I bow before thee in the dust;

And through my Saviour's blood alone

I look for mercy at thy throne.

I leave the world without a tear, 

Save for the friends I held so dear;

To heal their sorrows, Lord, descend, 

And to the friendless prove a friend.

I come, I come, at thy command, 

I give my spirit to thy hand;

Stretch forth thine everlasting arms, 

And shield me in the last alarms.

The hour of my departure's come:
I hear the voice that calls me home;
Now, O my God I let trouble cease;
Now let thy servant die in peace. 

The Littlest Bird

 Dearest Zhenya, 

 We had no idea where the Lord would take us when we first began our adoption journey 14 years ago. We didn’t know so many things. We didn’t know who you were, or where you were. We worried that you were cold and hungry,  we worried that you safe, and if you were scared. We didn’t know we would need fly to the other side of the world to find you. We didn’t understand what it would take to bring you home. 

When we finally found you we didn’t know that we would meet a beautiful 5 year old hummingbird, who would flit from one thing to the next, always moving quickly as though she might miss out if she settled in one place too long. 

We didn’t know we would find a girl who loves firm and strong, just like her hugs; a girl who was fearless when climbing trees, yet afraid of getting another bee sting because she didn’t want to hurt the bees. 

We didn’t know we would find a young woman who is fiercely independent, with a heart that is fiercely loyal. 

So many things we just didn’t know. We couldn’t know. But God knew. Just as He knew how to keep you safe when we couldn’t reach you, He knows how to keep you safe now, and through your future when you launch out on your own. He formed you in your mother’s womb with intention and for a purpose. Even though we don’t know what’s in your future, God does. He knew it all along.  

We love you

Mom and Dad

The End

  I wrote this as the end of season review the last season I coached. It captures my thoughts as I decided I could no longer be part of the program. 

The 2021-2022 Middle School Basketball season was one of highs and lows and a whole lot of learning for myself as a coach and for the 6^th-8^th grade boys who made up the team. With only two returning players, five new players, four of which are 6^th graders, it was a pretty steep learning curve for all of us. Each year I think that I should record the first practice and compare it to the last. This year was no exception. The improvement over the season was remarkable with each player growing in skill and demeanor in their own way. Some were more skilled, but had to learn what it meant to be a follower and an encouraging teammate. Others learned what it takes to be heard from within the crowd. And others learned that being the guy in front means you take the hardest lumps. The tall kids realized they were tall, the smaller kids realized they couldn’t do it alone.

               There were three key takeaways this season. The first was the idea that we as coaches, teachers, and parents should not put kids in a box based on their abilities or disabilities. When we teach we need to make every effort to connect with them to get them to understand what we need from them. That is our responsibility, its literally the job we signed up to do. If we give up on this effort, we give up on the kid. We decide they are no longer worth our time and effort to help them understand. We stop believing in them. We place them in a box and effectively tell them “this is all you will ever be able to do”. In reality we are saying “this is all I am willing to teach you so suck it up buttercup.” This cannot be the way we coach, teach, or lead. We must continue to make every effort to find the connection with the kids that have been placed in our care, never relenting, never giving up on them. And when we struggle to make the connection, it is us who need to change – change tactics, change coaching styles, change our approach, change tone, change goals. We have all felt the thrill of understanding when the lights come on and we see understanding flow across their faces. That is the goal, and the result will ripple across a lifetime.

               Second is that we must be honorable in our competition. There were situations this year where we had lost sight of the idea that we need to play honorably - treating our opponents as fellow image bearers of God, honoring their work, their play, and their efforts. We also had the opportunity to be on the receiving end of teams who did not honor us, in some cases we responded well, in others I am ashamed to admit we did not. Learning to honor your opponents is all part of the process of playing any sport. We should honor them by respecting their abilities or lack thereof. There is honor in competing to win, but there is no honor in continuing to beat on an opponent who is already beaten down. There is honor in working hard for victory, there is no honor is taking advantage of an opponent who is clearly outmatched. It is honorable to allow an outmatched opponent the opportunity to play their best by underplaying ourselves, its OK to let off and give them success. It is honorable to not play our best players when we have our opponent outmatched, even when it would ensure victory. Honoring our opponents and one another is part of the foundation for honoring God in our play.

               Third is that we need to remember the temporary nature of what we are doing. There is an entire book of the Bible (Ecclesiastes) dedicated to the idea that what we do here in on Earth is pretty meaningless, so we should enjoy it while it lasts. Solomon tells us it will all turn to dust and soon be forgotten. No matter how hard we try or what we do, if we are looking for significance and purpose in the things of this world (including sports) we will never be satisfied. In a generation no one will know who won state or how many points we scored, its meaningless in the big scheme of things. There are schools we visit who have huge trophy cases and their gyms are lined with banners to teams and games no one remembers and in a generation no one will care. In the end none of it matters. Depressing? Not really, Basketball, competition, any sport, cannot carry the burden of bringing meaning and significance to our lives, whether we are coaching, playing, or parenting. Solomon goes on to tell us eat, drink, and work, and take joy in all of it, because that it what the Lord had put before us. God has given it to us to enjoy, to take joy in, to be joyful while doing. We must be very careful to ensure our desire to win doesn’t take away our joy (or the joy of our kids). When we lose our joy, we need to really take a step back and evaluate what we are doing. Even worse is if our desire to win leads us to intentionally take away the joy of our opponents, by running up the score, or applauding their frustration, or rejoicing in their shortcomings, that is not good at all. How can we be joyful by stealing the joy of others? How can we rejoice by making others miserable? The challenge is to compete well, compete joyfully, while affording our opponents (who are ostensibly also fellow believers just as we purport to be) the same opportunity of joy filled competition.

               So a fun filled season with some challenges and some clear takeaways.

Friendly Fire

 There is a mindset that says we must win, maybe it’s an American thing. It is definitely an American Christian thing. And it is for sure an American Christian School thing. After coaching boy’s basketball in a small Christian school for four years I walked away. I had to. I could no longer reconcile what I believe with the culture of the school. Maybe it was just our school, but I doubt it based on how other programs displayed themselves. There were some good ones, who hadn’t let the “win at all cost” mindset take hold. But there were also some bad ones, ours included. 

We told ourselves we were better than those other bad schools: we didn’t openly cheat; we didn’t swear (at least loud enough to be heard off the court); we didn’t get caught playing ineligible players. We could prove it by the run of championships for both the boys and girls, and the trophies that line the office  

What we did might be more insidious. We played favorites; we had open nepotism; we marginalized and humiliated the weak, our players, other teams, it didn’t matter, they were weaker; we intentionally crushed our opponents when we could, taking away any shred of dignity; and we did it all under the pretense of healthy competition.  The school did it. The Athletic Director did it. the coaches did it. We did it.  I did it. I couldn’t change it so I left  

 In this competition culture we drown out the humanity of others with competition. We say it’s the “spirit of the game”. We forget they are image bearers of God when they put on a different color uniform or we break out a scorecard. We say things like “it would be disrespectful to take it easy on them” to justify our desire to dominate. We say our Christian Winners Creed and pray just before we humiliate our opponents, while elevating ourselves. It isn’t hypocrisy, there is no mask of false behavior. It is the true character on display.

 It is pride. It is pride that tells us to run up the score, it is pride that says it is “healthy”, it is pride that says it is the “spirit of competition”, it is with pride that we show off our trophies, it is pride. And God hates the proud. 

We should be ashamed. The school should be ashamed. The Athletic Director should be ashamed. the coaches should be ashamed. We should be ashamed. I was ashamed, so I left. 

Winning is losing

 I had a conversation with a new friend about his passion for golf and his aging father. He described how he beats his father every time they play and he wants his father to start using the closer tees as he can’t hit the ball s far anymore. What he thinks he is doing is giving his father an advantage to make it more competitive. What he is really doing is emasculating his father, albeit unintentionally. 

His desire to compete and win has drown out the desire to just be with his father. 

 My new friend will have plenty of opportunity to compete, but his time with his father is rapidly coming to an end. When that end comes,  he will miss being with his father on a golf course, way more that he will miss the thrill of victory when he wins.