I have added a new word to the dictionary. It isn't really a new word in the classical sense of words, but a twist on a very old word and spelled a little differently, kind of like the word "fat/phat" which my wife has been known to use on occasion. I still have to ask my wife specifically what she means when she says I am "fat". Does she mean that I am totally awesome and cool as in "Dude! Awesome beard! That crowder you are growing is phat!" (not that she has ever said that, but I can dream). Or is she implying my girth is more expansive that it used to be, as in "Those pants don't fit anymore because you are getting fat" (not that she has said that either, using those exact words anyway).
My new word is "yes*". That is right, I have added a non-letter to a word to make another word. The root word is the same, but the asterisk changes the meaning to indicate that the yes is provisional and there might be certain conditions in which it is not a yes, like the asterisks that are found next to the word “meat” on hotdog packages. In this case it generally means it is a yes unless something better comes along. It is pronounced the same, except you must add a slide whistle sound and a popping lip smack at the end. For those who are old enough to remember Electric Company, it is the punctuation mark sound Spiderman would make.
In context it would sound like this:
Guy One - "Will you help me move a grand piano upstairs next week during game four of the Finals?"
Guy Two - "Yes* beeeweeep-pop, I would be glad to help you."
The addition of the sound allows both parties to fully understand the nature of the yes given. Guy One can then plan on not having any help whatsoever from Guy Two simply because, in this instance, there are a million things that are better than moving a piano upstairs.
This brings up the second part of the provisional nature of the yes - "something better" is a sliding scale based purely on the whims of the individual. If Guy One upped the ante with cupcakes or pizza, his ask for help would then land higher on the scale and be more competitive with the better things that will inevitably come along.
Using the "yes*" would help us out in so many ways. It gets us away from the “let me pray about it“ lie because we all know that no one really “prays about it”, we are just too dishonest to be honest about it. We would no longer have to wonder who would be attending events at church or home. It would also help people in their Christian walk because they would no longer have to confess they sort of lied about accepting an invitation, their souls and consciences would be that much freer to dwell on the next step of their sanctification.
It would also help our marriages by eliminating the accidental yes. "The Smiths invited us to dinner Friday."
"I hope you didn't agree to go, the world premier of Creepy Vampire vs Shirtless Wolf-man Teenage Angst Love Story is Friday night."
"It's OK dear, I told them Yes* beeeweeep-pop."
And with that, another marriage is saved, hooray for the Yes*!
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